My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
