I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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