That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
