I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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