Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
