He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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