Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
