So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
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