You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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