from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
