do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
