you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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