Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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