C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Randomize
