Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
