Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
