I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
