I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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