Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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