so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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