My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
