i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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