how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
