I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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