He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
