i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
