Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
