Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
