Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize