I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
