you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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