I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize