Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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