So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
