so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
