just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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