You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
