I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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