Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
so explain again why im purple
no
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
