There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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