im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
