I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
