Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
