a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
