Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
