just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
