Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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