help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
