Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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