I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
