Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
