so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
she looked like the before picture.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
