who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
