Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I touched a dick in church today
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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