come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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