i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize