My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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