ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
