The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
