Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
