did you get engaged???
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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