Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize