It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
