the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
