he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
