Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
