Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Randomize
