I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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