I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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